Water Fountain Review

August 14, 2017

Every day I wake up to ponder some of the deepest and most consuming questions of our time. Some of these include: What is a #TeamLoudPack? Does anyone actually wear Minted? and Why have our meatball subs been cut in half when we can afford to have a train in the school musical? I’ve recently answered the most controversial topic on campus, “Where is the best and worst water fountain on campus?” The thorough investigation ranked the taste, temperature, and range of water from different fountains on campus. Our critics at each location ranked the ambiance of each location as well.

1. Fourth Mitchell Water Fountain

Looking for a thirst-quenching beverage to fill your Yeti? Look no farther than a four-story trek to the highest floor of Mitchell. In the cramped hallway you can enjoy feeling warm, metallic water fill your mouth. Even better, the range of the stream goes just a little farther than Adonis’ jump shot. An outside source commented on the fountain saying, “Besides the water splashing and flowing over the rim, I can see how the soft taste can be appealing to those scared of not making the round trip to first Mitchell and back before class.” The height of the stream and knowing that this is the worst water fountain on campus are the only two consistencies about this station.

2. Theater/Dining Hall/ Bathroom Fountains

I never would have thought that a water fountain placed in a dim nook between two bathrooms would be as bad as it was. The notoriety of this fountain comes from the questionability of its location and the taste of the water. After stooping down to bring my lips closer to the low-pressured stream, I was rewarded with a cool, copper taste. If you ever feel like drinking cold pennies after using the restroom, the water fountain by the theater is my number one recommendation.

3.First Anderson Common Room

Coincidently, directly next to a restroom, we had a slightly less awful fountain to test. If you can get past burnt smell of a freshman’s attempt at cooking ramen, then this may be one of your favorite fountains on campus. The height of the fountain is perfect for any thirsty soul and serves some of the coldest water on campus. An outside source dared to label it as “Crisp and refreshing.” Whether parched after another chapel talk or waiting to catch a glimpse of Alex Cochrane walking to the shower, this fountain will be there for you.

4. Gym Locker Room Hallway Fountain

Some say that this is the best fountain on campus for its stream range, cleanliness, and cool temperature. However, Bear Grylz would agree that anything tastes better when your body needs to be hydrated. I’m not saying that this is actually a terrible water station. What I am saying is that it has gotten too much hype from JV soccer after a hard workout of not one, but two hill sprints. As critics, we noted how a mouthpiece was missing a metal component and the flow of the stream was not consistent. Regardless, the stream shoots high and far allowing Nalgene refills to be quick and easy.

5. First Mitchell

I personally believe that a key factor of what makes the water fountain on First Mitchell the best is its location. Lillie Bridges serves as a guardian angel looking over all of those that seek sanctuary at this oasis. Water and protection is offered to everyone since the location is easily accessible to all science classes. Similar to the gym locker room fountain, this one’s stream shoots long and far to easily fill water bottles. Water is dispensed cold and not tasting like pennies.

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